The title of this post may seem like I’m going to launch into a neo-Christian heresy about how the Greek root of such-and-such word actually means that we can have sex whenever we want, and waiting for marriage is a sham.
But that’s not what this post is about, so you can put away your pitchforks and douse your torches.
Should you wait for marriage to have sex? Yes, that’s so soundly Biblical it’s not even open for debate. But there are good reasons on WHY we should wait and there are bad reason, and there is one popular reason that I’ve discovered that really isn’t Biblical.
Marriage Isn’t The Ultimate Goal
I ran into this blog from Grace for the road that was published about a year and a half ago, talking about why she got rid of her purity ring. The post was called I Don’t Wait Anymore. To give you an idea of what she’s talking about, here’s a killer quote from that post:
“But many of them – if they’re honest – will tell you that time has passed, and it’s wrecking their view of God.
If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.
So some decide to chuck “Lady in Waiting” out the window … and possibly their virginity with it. Church goes next. God might go next, too. If He doesn’t answer these prayers after they’ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?
Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy happened back then.
A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior. [emphasis added]”
There is a longstanding movement to sign the little pledge card, put on your purity ring, and then commit to waiting for marriage. Which is awesome, because you should wait to have sex until you’re married. But inadvertently, that little card or purity ring comes to mean something else entirely, that you’re making a deal with God by exchanging your patience for His promise. But it doesn’t work that way. Waiting for marriage is about glorifying God in Christ through obedience; not a leverage mechanism for forcing a spouse out of God.
Being Single Can Suck…I Know
I deeply sympathize with my brothers and sisters in Christ who are patiently searching for a spouse. But even for those married or engaged couples, marriage is not the end goal. Christ is. As the author of the blog states, we need a savior, not a deal. It’s so easy to let our perceptions of our own happiness cloud what we really, truly need, which is Christ.
As humans, we often put our faith in Christ on a conditional basis; contingent upon our circumstances. When our circumstances change, our faith wavers. And in this case, faith becomes attached to waiting for a spouse, and when one doesn’t show up, the faith disappears.
I guess the point is that we are fulfilled in Christ already and marriage will not change that. We have every thing we need in Him. Just like Ephesians 1:3 says, we have been blessed with ALL blessings in Christ. We have it all.
Don’t Give Up
So I just want to say, don’t give up. Don’t make your faith in Christ contingent on a circumstance in your life, because He actually is working everything for your good, if you love Him (Romans 8:28). Wait because it matters to God, but don’t wait because you think you can store up brownie points with Jesus that you can eventually cash in for a spouse.
That’s it. I hope I came across well, but please sound off in the comments if you have a different perspective!